The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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