giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
