so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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