i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize