Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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