hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
