we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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