Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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