I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
