there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
