So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
