chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
