I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
