Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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