haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
