haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I love you. Go after that dick
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
