Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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