OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
