weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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