she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
