Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
