i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
