The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I could fuck to npr.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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