My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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