I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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