my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
