I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
