I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
