everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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