I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
