her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
