everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
When are your genitals available?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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