You just made me feel so damn special
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
