is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
