So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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