The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
