take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
