Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
