are you so shy because you have an std?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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