he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
