You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
