Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We just shotgunned beers for America
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
