Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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