I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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