sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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