why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
