There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
