It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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