He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
