I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
