im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
