I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
