You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
