Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
