Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
